The Excursion

This story happened a few months back…but I wasn’t in a “sharing” mood at the time. Before getting to the actual topic of the day, I need to fill you in on a few major changes in our home.

Veronica had decided to finally upholster the sofas and two chairs. They were an embarrassment! Oh yes, just trust me on this one, they were! As expected she chose Josef Frank materiel from Svenskt Tenn. (A Swedish store).

To say that she’s a fan in an understatement!

Unfortunately this renovation came with new rules…for me! “No more scratching your back Felicia, it ruins the cloth”. Like I’m responsible for the state of her sofas. What about all the kids climbing all over them like monkeys?

No, blame the innocent Boxer! The unfairness of it!

One of the things I’ve heard Veronica say is that people who walk into a brand store and buy a “living room” either “lack imagination” or “don’t have their own proper taste”.

She’s such an hypocryte! Have you seen her living room? It looks like a fricking page from a Svenskt Tenn catalogue! Someone please tell her!

In her defence the sofas, chairs and lamps came from her childhood home, from the 60s. But the rest? She pretends it’s different if you choose Josef Frank. What a joke!

Back to our story:

One morning I hear Veronica’s, slightly neurotic, voice shouting “Have you seen Felicia, I can’t find her, she’s disappeared. OMG she’s run away!!”

I was simply sleeping quietly in my basket, but for some obscure reason they didn’t see me. I found the situation hilarious.

After what seemed like an eternity she finally found me, “Honey, she’s here, she’s here” then “Oh my Felicia, I thought you’d disappeared”. You’d think I had been lost in the woods for 3 days! She’s pathetic!

Then she became all serious and told me I needed to be on my best behaviour because we were going on a daytrip.

“Felicia, remember, other dogs are also allowed to go on this excursion, not only you, so you need to act civil. No growling or making any kind of scene.”

Frankly is she giving me the talk…again! What does she think? That I’m a total moron? That I don’t know how to behave? That I can’t follow social etiquette? I feel hurt! HURT!

What? The incident with the little Jack Russell? Oh but that was just one big misunderstanding. Let’s move on.

We travel to this quite amazing place called “Les Gorges de l’Orbe”. It’s a huge water fall, very impressive.

Veronica, who has a fear of heights, was freaking out big time. “No, I cannot go closer, it’s super dangerous, I might fall”.

She’s standing about 6 feet away from the edge, at least. P L E A S E! Honestly, she’s such a wimp!

She felt much happier by the river.

Me? Oh no, I’m a daredevil. I’m like the strong St. Bernard dogs rescuing people in the mountains. Come think of it I’d be the best! People would call me “The amazing Rescue Boxer Felicia”!

“The Amazing Rescue Boxer Felicia has yet again, heroically, saved a life”. So cool!

We follow the river on a small path, unfortunately Veronica refused to let me off the leash. “Felicia you can fall into the water and drown”.

Gee, she’s dramatic. I’m kind of tired of her neuroses, honestly had this been only Dennis and I, I would be happily running around by now.

I try to give her my “Please let me run free” look. My sweet innocent look that usually comes with excellent results. Especially when if I’ve gotten myself into trouble.

e.g. When playing with stuff she considers inappropriate. Obviously by mistake, goes without saying.

On the way back we stop at our favourite lake. “Lac de Joux”, I love that place. The bottom has small stones and it is not deep.

I can wade out far, enjoy the water and even jump around a little, when I’m in the mood for it.

There was an awkward moment when Veronica and Dennis thought I’d go swimming. Honestly they should know by now:

FELICIA DOES NOT SWIM!

Also swimming is overrated and so passé, wading is the new black. Everyone knows that!

A day trip is exhausting. You’ll be happy to know that I behaved perfectly well, never embarrassing Veronica and Dennis. As expected, I did not create any kind of incident.

What, no other dogs around?

I’m choosing not to answer this, frankly, inappropriate and hurtful question. You’re disturbing my beauty sleep! So chop chop, off you go!