I’ve got news for you; vacations are overrated!! Whoever said they’re fun is a liar! It’s just plain BORING!!
Let’s look more closely;
Things started off great…
…agility season ended with “The Annual Competition” and listen to this: I won second prize!! Yes ME, Felicia von der Andreashöhe!!
First? Oh, if you must know, Mylo, he’s an Aussie, so this explains that. It’s a known fact that Aussies are super fast and very focused, AND he wasn’t even that much faster.
Anyhow, I don’t care, I got really cool gifts!
Veronica was very, very happy and proud of me. When told, Dennis didn’t believe her; “Felicia second? Seriously?…Noo…Really? Felicia did you come second??”…
What??? I felt deeply hurt! I can be a champion if I want to! I can win! And now leave me alone and let me savour my victory in peace. I deserve a well earned rest and a vacation;
Doing nothing, apart from our daily morning walks!
A few days later a package arrived for Veronica. Crime novels! Her favourite kind, she devours them, sits for hours reading.
I think she has this secret dream: to be a detective! Yes! She’d love to go out there, solve complicated crimes and put the bad guys away.
“You there, you didn’t follow the law! Busted!”, Yep that’s all her! Only problem, she’s too much of a wimp, yes, she would never have the guts these detective people need!
The reading is just enough excitement for her! She even sometimes finds the suspense unbearable and has to take a quick peak at the last page to see if her favourite character survives. I know, pathetic!!
So a Detective? Hell no!
I’ll hang out close to her, chill, dream and sleep.
Only resting isn’t as fun as I thought… I decided to opt for a more active home vacation.
Let’s see, let’s see…Oh the berries! They look delicious, just asking to be picked. As a matter of fact, I’ll actually be doing Veronica a favour here, taking care of her chores! She’ll thank me.
Turns out “thanking me” was not on Veronica’s mind!
“Felicia stop eating the berries immediately! They’re not for you!”! Typical!
BTW they’re delicious, I’ll just come back later.
What about chasing intruders away? Yeah, that’s always fun. (And I’m a guard dog!)
Veronica does not approve of “Intruder interventions”. She thinks all animals are “so cute” and we should “live in peace together, in the garden”! Ridiculous, like that’s ever gonna happen.
Anyway, right now she’s busy investigating crime!
I haven’t seen any cats lately. That’s because of me surely: “Felicia the Badass Boxer lives here, stay away” Ha!
There is this one Pigeon, A.K.A., “The Strutting Pigeon”, who loves to tease me. I always think if I creep up very quietly, I’ll be able to teach him a lesson or two, unfortunately he has wings.
These strange creatures are called lizards, I’ve been wanting to have a closer look for weeks.
Only, they’re super fast and have this extremely irritating habit of slipping in between the wood panels.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, I hear my name called… loudly…Now who could that be…you get three guesses…
“Felicia, what are you doing?? Stop this at ONCE! Leave the cute lizard alone, NOW”. Yes that’s Veronica’s charming voice!
Seriously, she needs to relax, I JUST WANT TO HAVE A CLOSER LOOK!
I’ll just have to get on to “Front fence and gate” fun. A big plus in favour of this activity; Veronica wont interfere, she’s on the other side of the house!
Turns out we’re not the only ones on vacation!
Nobody’s walking down the road! NOBODY!!! Not even my Nemesis the “little full of himself Jack Russel”!
I’m starting to feel a little depressed…
I know what always cheers me up! Paper work! Oh yeah! I hear most people hate this, well listen guys, I’ll take care of it, just bring it over!!
I’m a true specialist!!
And I know the perfect place to get what I need.
I love this, the whole tearing apart, running round, shredding… the paper is going to the recycling, now it’ll already be in pieces!
Again, Boxer Felicia helping out.
It’s great fun, and very relaxing, you should try it!
For some obscure reason this game was not “Veronica approved”!
Seriously, can’t a sweet Boxer girl have any vacation fun these days?? Nothing escapes her eagle eye.
What’s wrong with her? Ohhh… I know what’s going on here, she want’s to play Detective! Yes, and I’m her villain! Suddenly the reading isn’t enough??
The whole crime business is getting out of control!!! Dennis, help me out here!
This vacation is not going as planned, at all!
And what about her focusing capabilities? Let’s talk about those. She can interrupt her reading at any moment to put her nose into other people’s, or dog’s, business!!
I feel there is a double standard here. She needs to be more understanding, next time I have a fleeting moment of distraction on the “Walkway” during Agility!
The Family comes over, but look at this, they spend most of the time napping in the shade!
Even Indya sleeps in MY bed with her head on MY agility prize cushion, if you please! Supposedly she thinks it’s too hot to play.
As if that’s not enough, Veronica takes her side; “Oh look Felicia, Indya loves the cushion too” She should have my back and give ME the cushion!
People, you want my opinion? Vacations: they’re a waste of time!!
I sulk a lot these days and I can see Veronica’s worried look…She even talks to Dennis about it, “I think Felicia is sick, I might call Dr L”.
Let her be worried… serves her right for keeping me from having fun! Between you and me, it’s just an act, yes! You see, tomorrow the whole damn business is over!
That means one thing:
2 thoughts on “The Vacation Illusion”